A friend of mine was talking about all of the worries he has had since the hurricane hit the Gulf Coast. It led to me doing a little thinking.
You can’t eliminate all worrying, and maybe some worrying is good, especially if it spurs you into action against real threats. Too much worrying though is devastating. I know because I used to worry constantly. Here's what I discovered.
-Most of the things I worry about never happened. I used to think into reality threats and risks that the actual probability of them happening was far less that than the probability of the possible positive outcomes. In other words, I could find and worry about a negative outcome even when a positive outcome was more likely.
-Worrying scared me into submission. At times, my worrying created a self-fulfilling prophecy because I did not confront and try to solve the problem causing me to worry. It made me problem-focused versus solution-focused.
-Sometimes, worrying made me feel and act like a victim. It also made me pessimistic.
-When I worry it makes me indecisive. People who are indecisive are usually too little and too late when it comes to action.
-I used to be hyper-alert when it came to examining and analyzing situations for threats. This resulted in missed opportunities to grow because I was fearful and unwilling to take risks. Also, constantly worrying about the future robs you of your ability to enjoy the present.
-Birds of a feather flock together. If you are negative person, other negative people will seek you out and latch on to you.
-Although I'm not a doctor, worrying leads to stress. For me, stress negatively impacted my physical heath and made me tired all of the time. It made me achy, stiff and sore too. Worrying does lead to depression as well.
So what do I do to keep myself from worrying?
- When I catch myself worrying I simply tell myself to stop. If I can't stop, I shift my mindset to what can I DO to alleviate the threat. Next, I come up with an action plan and it needs to begin as soon as possible. I then get busy. I found I worry most when I am idle.
- I got good with the fact that life is suffering. A rich and productive life must include periods of discomfort. There is no way to have a life that is 100% good, 100% of the time. Besides, if all things in in a person's life were good there would be no appreciation. This may sound crazy, but I have found that the more I suffer the better my life becomes. At times, I go to great lengths to create bad times so I will have a greater appreciation for the good times. I do this because I know that the only way to increase my tolerance for suffering is to suffer. The byproducts of suffering are increased confidence and courage. A person who is confident and full of courage worries less than a person whom is lacking. Having been through some natural disasters, I'll share one last thought with my friends who were impacted by this latest hurricane. I never appreciated a shower like the one I took right after spending days in the heat, humidity and muck. I never tasted a meal as good as the hot meal I ate when I was safe, clean and with people who cared about me. Lastly, I never slept better than the first night when I got to lay down in my own bed, in my own house and go to sleep knowing that life was returning to normal. Remember, everything is temporary. Find strength in the word temporary.
A couple more parting thoughts.
- If there was no death, there would be no appreciation of life. That's what makes life worth living.
- Don't be afraid to take risks.
- Growth and Comfort do not coexist. You grow when you are outside of your Comfort Zone.
- Seek solutions and take action. Talk is cheap, but action is priceless.
- Don't wallow in problems, whether real or imagined.
- Finally, remember this response I heard often from my guides on Kilimanjaro. When I was worried and would say something like, what if I get scared and freeze up on the mountain, what if I get sick, what if the weather doesn't cooperate, what if I just can't go any further... The answer from the guides was always the same; Hakuna Matata. And by the way, in Swahili it really does translate to no worries.
So, Hakuna Matata. No worries.
PS – The only way to learn how to endure suffering is to suffer. Maybe the reason why The Greatest Generation was the greatest generation was because back then everyone was suffering. Maybe the opposite of that is what is wrong with folks today; Not enough suffering.