This happened more when I first started stepping outside of the comfort zone, but it’s been quite a while since this last happened.
The conversation usually starts out the same. The person I’m talking to will start with some small talk. At this point, the mood is happy and light. Then the tone of the person’s voice drops as well as the volume. They look down, I guess to hide the expression on their face, and they ask the question, “Chris, are you dying?”
Knowing it takes courage to ask someone a question like that, I just smile and say something like, “No, I’m just an old, fat bald guy takin’ a few steps out of my comfort zone and havin’ a little fun. I’m not dying”
Although I think this is the proper and kind response, it’s not accurate. The accurate response would be, “Yes, I am dying, and so are you.”
Everyone dies. Our days on earth are numbered. Not knowing how many days we have left is in my opinion both a blessing and a curse. With life comes death. Life in reality is a terminal illness. The conundrum for me is why do we not treat it as such? Why do most live their lives like they will live forever? Hmmmmmm…..
I have done some research on people with terminal illnesses. When these people are asked how they would live their life if they could do it all over, most give the responses you would expect; less time at work, more time with family, travel and see more places, etc. Nothing really surprising and great advice. If we all have the terminal illness called Life, why don’t we listen? Okay, now I am really getting myself confused.
We’ve all heard the saying “live like you’re dying.” If I really lived like I was dying, I am certain that before long I would be disowned by my family, fired from my job, my savings would be gone and I would probably be wanted in a few states for various crimes.
I guess this is where the word Balance comes in to play.
I have a problem with finding balance in my life. My general nature, or default, is one of extremes. Either I’m all-in, or I’m out. It has taken a lot of work for me to get my dysfunctional all-in tendencies in check. I still struggle daily. If something is 99% good and 1% not good, in my mind it’s all bad because I focus on the 1% bad instead of the 99% good. I have a very hard time with less than perfect.
My problem; Balance.
What do I mean when I talk about Balance? Example. I struggle with weight; I’m fat. We all know what a balanced diet looks like. Eating a balanced diet is difficult for me. I eat the wrong foods (sugars) and I eat too much. When I eat about 1,500 calories a day my weight stays about the same. So at 1,500 calories, I guess I am consuming exactly what my body needs to maintain life. At this point my diet is in balance. Where the problem happens is when I want to eat two plates of enchiladas and then a DQ Blizzard for dessert. When I do that my diet is out of balance and I get fatter. Keeping things balanced takes a tremendous amount of discipline and self control.
Why seek balance? When most of the many facets of my life are in balance, I find that I am healthier and happier. Balance is better. With balance also comes great appreciation. For instance, Death is the balancing force in Life. If we all lived forever, there would be no appreciation of life.
One indicator of a lack of balance is a life that is rooted in routine. Routine is a destroyer of life. Routine stops personal growth dead in its tracks. I was recently reading an online study about relationships. If you ask me what leads most marriages to a state of “stable but miserable” is routine. Routine in the way we behave. Routine in the way we communicate. Routine in the things we do. Routine in the amount of appreciation for one another.
Do you feel like you’re stuck in a rut? Maybe you feel like you’re not growing because you don’t live, but rather only exist? If this is you, then you are probably being consumed by routine and living a life that is out of balance. Seek balance. Bust out of your routine by taking a chance or two. Push yourself out your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid to fail. Do something you have never done before. It feels really odd when you first step out of the comfort zone, but the more you do it the less weird it becomes. Because so few people dare to step outside of the comfort zone is the reason why stepping out of the comfort zone is so noticeable to those around you. As for me, I am okay with having a life that is different and leads to people asking me if I’m dying. Perhaps you would enjoy that type of life too.
So for the record, yes, I am dying and so are you. Seek balance. Find Your Adventure. Live Your Life.
Quick Disclosure: Please know that when I share my ideas, I in no way think I have all of the answers. In most cases, I probably only have an answer that temporarily works for me. Also know that I in no way want you to think I have a some picture-perfect life. My life is more than likely a bigger mess that yours. I am a very complicated person. About a week ago, I told someone that they should actually view me as the rusted and wrecked ship that is run aground on the coastline. I am a warning sign for others to not make the same mistakes I have made. And yes, I’ve made tons of mistakes. I have really tried to learn from my mistakes, especially over the last few years. So no, I more than likely don’t know the answers for you. At best, my hope is that some of the psychobabble I write will make you think and consider some possibilities you would not normally consider.